Mom Guilt:Why I Formula Feed, and Why I Shouldn’t Have to Explain Myself.

Hi everyone! Sorry it’s been so long since my last post. I welcomed a baby boy into the world on January 3rd. William came on Charleston’s biggest snow storm since 1989. My son demands attention, and he started from the day he was born!

As you can see this post is a little different from my regular post (don’t worry I will still have healthy recipes), but I wanted to start another part to my blog. Talk of mom guilt. Why is it that the moment we have a tiny human being we are judged more than ever before. There is all this talk of women empowerment, and lifting each other up, but I’ve never felt more alone and ridiculed as when I became a mother.

It seems like no matter what you choose, according to someone else (and usually other mother’s) you aren’t doing it correctly. You know the first question I am always asked? You breastfeed, right? Do you see how that ends, it’s not even a question, it’s an assumption. No, I do not breastfeed, and I immediately have to follow that up with that my milk dried up. I was not able to breastfeed, and then it seems that the other person is then suddenly ok with how I feed MY child.

I realized that I shouldn’t have to follow it up with anything. No, I do not breastfeed, and I should never even be asked that question. We are lucky enough to live in a world where we can choose how we feed our baby. I couldn’t breastfeed, and for me that was heartbreaking enough without the extra judgement. But, even if I could no one should judge or care how I feed my baby. As long as he is healthy and thriving, what does it matter?

Yes, I see the breast is best campaigns and know the benefits of breast milk. But, there are also benefits of formula; no one wants to talk about those, though. This isn’t a post to debate how to feed your baby, honestly if your child is happy and healthy, and you are happy and healthy than that’s all that matters. Instead of beating each other down as mothers, why don’t we start empowering each other, because this mom stuff is hard enough without the extra ridicule!

 

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3 thoughts on “Mom Guilt:Why I Formula Feed, and Why I Shouldn’t Have to Explain Myself.

  1. Paula, congratulations on the birth of your little boy. I hope all went well with the birth. Little babies are so precious, so enjoy him. Don’t worry what people say or question. He is your baby.
    I never breastfed either of my girls. To be honest, apart from me not really wanting to, I just did not produce milk ! So mine were bottle-fed from day one, and I was looked down upon by many women. Need I say, my girls were and still are the picture of good health, they never got sick, are not sickly ….and they were bottle fed !!!
    Have a great weekend. Hugs x

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  2. Congratulations! I’m always amazed by those who think they’re more qualified to live my life (or someone else’s) than I am (they are). My sister breastfed. My sister-in-law could not. Funnily enough, their children grew up and married and are having children of their own. Success! Be gentle with yourself and remember that those who are telling you what you should do are attempting to distract themselves from what they should be doing and aren’t. It isn’t about you. Go you.

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  3. Congrats! Babies bring so much joy. When my first was born, I tried to breastfeed him, but as soon as I got home from the hospital I got mastitis. That hurt so much! And then my milk never really came in. So I formula fed my baby and, oh my! It seemed everyone had an opinion about that! Only my baby’s pediatrician reassured me that my choice was just fine, for both my baby and me. So, I hear you! Been there! I agree, all moms should just support each other.

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